The Hustler’s Apprentice
If you haven’t been watching (I mean, really? WTF?), for the last few weeks I’ve been doing this Google+ Hangout series with some of my favorite ladies. I think according to Google it’s supposed to be some sort of parenting advice talk show thing, but since none of us are even remotely qualified to give [...]
Roar
They say you fall in love when you least expect it. Though I can’t put my finger on the exact moment I realized that it was L-O-V-E, I think it started with my hair. I asked Dave to shave my head. In the kitchen. Of our house. With the clippers I can only assume he [...]
I Love Lucy
My first car was a powder blue 1989 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera. It had 132,000 miles, cost $2,000 paid in monthly installments of $100, handled like a tank, and was the best thing to ever happen to sixteen year old me. It took me to school, friend’s houses, parties, out on dates, dance class, play rehearsals, [...]
You are not a slut
Nobody really knows their label in high school. It’s simple to pinpoint it for everyone else…he’s a jock, she’s a prep, he’s a stoner, she’s a nerd. But ask someone what group they belong to and you’ll usually hear “I’m not really in a group. I’m sort of friends with all of them.” It’s easy [...]
Asking for it
On June 7, 1998 in Jasper, Texas, James Byrd Jr. was beaten, urinated on and dragged behind a pick-up truck along an asphalt road until his eventual death by decapitation. But he was a black man in the South and he accepted a ride from three white men, so he was asking for it. On [...]
If friendship had a flavor, ours would taste like regret
Airplanes. Penicillin. Atari. All super awesome inventions. But, as far as I’m concerned, the 20th Century invention with the greatest impact on civilization? Hands down. Caller ID. I mean, when I was 13, answering the phone was a total crapshoot. Maybe it was Beau McLaughlin calling to tell me that he really loved me and [...]
I am so fucking sick of teaching our daughters not to get raped
Trigger warning* I’m talking about rape and I’m fucking pissed off.. Never take a drink from anyone or let your drink out of your sight. Don’t show too much cleavage. Be aware of your surroundings at all times. Never go to a boy’s room alone. If it comes to it, go for the eyes, the [...]
And a Happy VD to you….
February 13, 9:30 pm, writing Hen’s name in black marker on $2.99 grocery store Batman Valentines with nothing in the “To” field because I totally lost the class list: Dave: I don’t think there’s going to be a bunch of kids with handmade Valentines. Me: I think all the kids are going to have handmade [...]
Dear Boys
With the impending blizzard and a high likelihood of being trapped in the house together for awhile, it seems like the right time to have a talk. As you may have noticed (though you probably haven’t given your general obliviousness to the fact that your mother is a human and not a robotmaidchef) MOM IS [...]
And that’s how you know your kid is too old to see you naked
Hen: I see your boobs. Me: Ugh. Yes. I have boobs. Hen: They’re fat. Me: Yes. Boobs are fat. Hen: Can I touch them? Me: No, you can’t touch my boobs. Hen: Why? Me: Because. They’re my boobs. You can’t touch other people’s boobs. Hen: When I’m a girl, can I touch my boobs? Me: [...]
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