Breaking up is hard to do (even with caller ID)
Now that school is out, I’m not ambushed daily by the Pushy European (P-Eu). However, she still has my phone number. And my cell phone number. After avoiding her for two weeks, I made the mistake of answering the phone three days after The Baby was born. It was P-Eu, of course, inviting Peanut over [...]
So, what do you think of your new baby brother?
Moon: He’s pretty cute.Peanut: Pathetic.
And yet another example of our fine parenting skills
Me: I swear to God, if the two of you do not stop this behavior I am signing you up for Vacation Bible School!D: You can go learn about Jebus. How’s that sound? Five minutes later: D, to Peanut: Why are you afraid to go up on the third floor? You have the dog with [...]
Oh no he din’t
D., laughing, while watching me get dressed: Wow, those underwear are HUGE! I mean, really, they’re just huge.
Ohh…bada bing!
Moon had a pizza party with his baseball team this afternoon at The Town Pub. Since the team was in the party room, I took peanut out into the main part of the restaurant to have some dinner. Halfway through the meal, a couple of guys sitting at the bar got into a heated debate [...]
Someone’s been shitting in my bed….and it’s still there!
Here’s a funny story. It’s just like Goldilocks, if Goldilocks were a five year old boy who refused to wear pants. I’m feeling a little tired today. 38 weeks pregnant, enormous, mean, etc. It’s the last day of schoool, both boys were home by 12:30, I figured they could entertain each other if I laid [...]
Rayman, Raving Rabbids
According to my children, Rayman, Raving Rabbids, is a very funny game. Moon: You should dress your rabbit in that.Peanut: No.Moon: What about that?Peanut: No.Moon: You should at least put some pants on him.Peanut: NO! My rabbit wants to be naked in public. Fifteen minutes later….. Peanut: Mom, you have to watch this.Moon: Watch, Mom.Peanut: [...]
Love is….
It’s Father’s Day. I didn’t buy D. a card. I didn’t make a special meal. I didn’t give him an extravagant gift. I did go outside at 37+ weeks pregnant, in muggy, 82 degree heat, and clean up all the dog shit. That’s love.
E.T.
D. and I, laying quietly together in bed, listening to the boys’ conversation in the next room: Moono: Don’t punch my nuts.Peanut: I didn’t punch your balls.Moono: They’re not balls, they’re nuts.Peanut: Ha. I punched your balls.D, hollering: No punching in the testicles, boys!Moono: Nuts.Peanut: Balls.Me, hollering: Testicles! They’re called testicles!Peanut, laughing: Testicles.Moon, laughing: Testicles.Peanut, [...]
Taco night
Sometime around age eight, boys get funky. They sprout little leg hairs, and they act all squirrelly, and their hygiene becomes highly questionable. Of course, this gets worse by age nine. Moon argues with us about the need for daily showers, and often emerges from the bathroom with a clean body but completely dry hair, [...]
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