If I were Max, I’d punch that bossy, big-eared bitch
From Nick Jr.: Max & Ruby is a half-hour animated comedy series based on the children’s books by Rosemary Wells. Each episode centers on Max, a determined three-year-old bunny, and his big sister, Ruby, a smart, goal-oriented seven-year-old. The show offers an empowering message for children by showing Max and Ruby playing together and resolving [...]
Those cartoon drawing lessons really paid off
In Moon’s health class they were given an assignment to draw “mood puppets.” Basically, they had to take brown paper bags and draw a puppet that reflected how they were feeling. I think this sounds like an idiotic, touchy-feely assignment. Apparently, so did my kid: Either that, or he “feels” like a badass, smarmy, French, [...]
How’s this for getting rid of solicitors?
Doorbell rings. I go to the window and see the group of Jehovah’s Witness at my door.Peanut: Someone’s here, Mom!Me: I’m not answering the door.Peanut: Why not? Who is it?Me: Religious people.Peanut goes to the window and turns the crank to open it.Peanut: (yelling out window) WE’RE NOT LETTING YOU IN. (Closes window.) Mom, can [...]
It all comes back to bodily functions
Me: What is this thing you made in school today?Peanut: It’s a collage of things that are yellow.Me: It’s beautiful. Hey, you know in this sunshine your hair looks very blonde.Peanut: All golden and shiny?Me: Yes. You could probably even say it’s “yellow.”Peanut: Like pee?Me: Yes, son. Your hair looks just like pee.
Vintage Blow Out
It’s that time of year again. Everyone hauls out all the inventory they don’t want to look at anymore and prices it cheap. I’m shooting for no less than 75 fixed price items, most under $14. And it’s some sweet-ass stuff, not a bunch of polyester crap. I’m listing dresses (several plus size) from the [...]
The depth of his grief
I was moved by the depth of his grief. He didn’t actually realize that Fluffy was dead until his brother asked if she needed her medicine, but when I broke the news, he was stricken. He had to check all corners of the cage to make sure that his guinea pig was really gone, and [...]
It’s gonna hurt
Me: So, are you excited that it’s almost summer vacation?Peanut: Yes.Me: You know, when it gets to be summer vacation your new baby brother is going to be here.Peanut: Really? He is?Me: Yes. Is that exciting?Peanut. Uh-huh. (Pause). You know, it’s really going to hurt.Me: What?Peanut: It’s going to hurt.Me: What’s going to hurt?Peanut: When [...]
I’m not as tough as an eight year old
Last night was Moon-o’s debut as starting pitcher. He’s been practicing for weeks. Working on his form in the backyard, making sure his left foot steps backward just the right amount before stepping forward to launch the ball. His pitching is methodical. You can see the gears turning in his head at each and every [...]
Laugh, Mom!
Peanut: Mom, look at that guy (pointing to cartoon character on juice box package), isn’t he funny?Me: Yeah. He’s very funny.Peanut: Laugh.Me: He’s not that funny.Peanut: Laugh, Mom! Try to laugh.Me: Why?Peanut: Because I can’t remember what your laugh sounds like.
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